When television series Ally McBeal was a big hit I remember the first time Calista Flockhart’s character shared her inner dialogue as though it was part of the outer world in which Ally lived. On screen, the writers painted a picture of the hallucinogenic diatribes in Ally’s head, and this became the viewers reality of her honest experience.

It was kind of mind-blowing since prior to that, characters didn’t go deep “within” on a network approved series. We weren’t ready as a society to fully address much more than the surface area of character development.

But this was the late 90’s after all, and “anything” was becoming increasingly possible. If you’ve ever seen this show I want to remind you of the first time Ally discovered her very own private theme song inside that actively chatty subconscious of hers.

Though I’m no lawyer, I am basically Ally McBeal. I talk to myself. A lot. Like, A LOT – A LOT. (I also remember when I learned that Calista Flockhart married my childhood sweetheart Harrison Ford, and how sad I was he went off the market despite our 32 year age difference. It could have worked Indy.)

Trust imagination 

So what did I learn from Ally McBeal that’s worth sharing here nearly twenty years after the final episode? I learned how to use my own theme song as my adrenaline, my motivational pull. My juice. I’ve used theme songs to push myself harder in the gym, on my spin bike, even running 18km every Sunday for a while until I smartened up and found weight training as the ultimate metabolic boost.

I’ve had at least one theme song or other implanted in my thick noggin’ ever since 2009, back when I needed a heaping spoonful of lyrical motivation to kick me into high gear and increase my sense of self worth. I found my first theme song during a period of career transition where I felt undervalued and wanted to be “re-considered”. I wanted a bigger challenge. I wasn’t growing. Self-driven and dissatisfied I eventually figured the only way up, was out.

Enter Peter Gabriel’s Solsbury Hill.

Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing, stretching every nerve
Had to listen, had no choice
I did not believe the information
Just had to trust imagination
My heart going boom, boom, boom
“Son”, he said, “grab your things, I’ve come to take you home”

To keep in silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut
So I went from day to day
Though my life was in a rut
‘Til I thought of what I’ll say
Which connection I should cut
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going boom, boom, boom
“Hey”, he said, “grab your things, I’ve come to take you home”

When illusion spin her net
I’m never where I want to be
And liberty she pirouette
When I think that I am free
Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me
Today I don’t need a replacement
I’ll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart going boom, boom, boom
“Hey”, I said, “you can keep my things, they’ve come to take me home”

It worked. It pumped up my confidence and I found my next gig shortly thereafter, submitting my letter of resignation and moving on. Liberty she pirouette. Besides I spent five and a half years there. With no role advancement available within, it was time to grow – without. Without what, I would not know for a full decade later.

But that’s not the end of my search for the next kick-ass theme song. No. Two years into the new gig I was more lost than ever. I went there seeking professional growth and landed a bigger pay cheque, but I transitioned from a creative role into an accounts role (aka sales). The result? My heart was broken, but my bank account looked better, as promised.

Enter Metric’s Breathing Underwater
Lyrics Reduced

I’m the blade
You’re the knife
I’m the weight
You’re the kite
They were right when they said
We were breathing underwater
Out of place all the time
In a world that wasn’t mine to take

I’ll wait
Is this my life? 
Am I breathing underwater? 

They were right when they said 
We should never meet our heroes
When they bow at their feet, in the end it wasn’t me

Is this my life? 
Am I breathing underwater? 

Lights of days
Will beat a path through the mirrored maze
I can see the end
But it hasn’t happened yet

Soon after finding this new exit-themed mantra, the laws of attraction threw a new job offer at my feet. It was the same type of role but closer to home. Closer to my little girl whom I sacrificed raising as a stay-at-home Mom (not that I had the option) for the almighty dollar, balancing marital compromise with self-desire.

Since the new company would bring me closer to her and her needs, I had to honour my mothering instincts and switch jobs again (yes, already). There were plenty of similar challenges as the role I was about to leave, but there would be no long commute, and surely nothing I couldn’t push myself through… said the Optimist.

I was still dishonouring my creative self for money. I sold my soul. Excellent role modelling. It took a slightly life-threatening disease to make me reflect on why I was allowing myself so much unhealthy stress, wreaking havoc at the molecular level. 

Enter Rachel Platten’s Fight Song (uber cheese, but it worked).
Lyrics Reduced

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

Against my own trend, this time I did not up and leave my job for the next great thing. I desperately wanted to prove to myself I could stretch myself further, and tried to do my existing job better. This time I would not “quit”. I would find a way to conquer my weaknesses. I thought, maybe I haven’t given myself enough of a chance to be all I can be.

So I tried harder. And the pandemic hit. And while working from home, hitting up LinkedIn’s 9:00 a.m. Business Unusual series, I learned an amazing thing about weaknesses and strengths. I wasn’t working on the right muscle group. The best approach to conquering weaknesses I learned, is to double-down on your strengths. (I’m terrible at pull-ups, but can I do lat-pullovers? Very well, thank you. I’m not in a pull-up competition so why does it matter as long as I work my lats one way or another?)

During the pandemic early days onwards my job remained in tact. I was so fortunate, but my role was not the right fit for my strengths. My heart belonged elsewhere. I wanted the opportunity to be creative again, and to change industries. And I very passionately wanted to write, communicating as widely as possible to middle-aged adults the extremely rich health benefits of a commitment to a lifetime of fitness.

In the pandemic, I uncovered my WHY and there was no going back.

I saw for myself what a life with never-ending fitness and ongoing better nutrition could do, and I knew I could help more people find the same path. But how to get there in my career? The health and fitness industry wasn’t really in my field of expertise. 

I lost myself ten years prior by accepting the wrong fit, and it wasn’t until seven years into my last job that I finally found myself again. I woke up to the intensely satisfying idea that my true creative self had been smothered and I needed to redirect.

So I walked away. This time without a theme song. I didn’t even bother trying to find one. When I entered into my new role, my current role, I started doing exactly what I felt in my heart I was being trained for. A job designed specifically for me, my passions, capabilities, and the best way to serve “community”. 

For the first time, rather than find an exit strategy song, I found a pump-up to win song.

It shouted at me. For the first time in over a decade my YOU CAN DO THIS!! theme song wasn’t about my leaving somewhere, it was a song about moving forward into something amazing. Something bigger than me. A song about rising to the challenge. A song about making possible: real, positive, lasting change for myself and others.

It’s a song about being my best self in the role I’ve recently transitioned into, and it makes me feel obsessively good about what we’re doing in this personal trainer business I’m privileged enough to represent. We help people be held accountable to their own health improvement goals.

I finally made it to the land where hard work, satisfaction and a sense that what I’m contributing to – every day – has altruistic benefits (and, I took a pay cut just to be here)!  

Enter new theme song Eye of the Tiger, by Survivor… because I am one…
Lyrics Reduced

Risin’ up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I’m back on my feet
Just a man (woman) and his (her) will to survive (ok I’ll stop, you get the point)

So many times, it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight
Risin’ up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he’s watchin’ us all with the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin’ tough, stayin’ hungry
They stack the odds ’til we take to the street
For the kill with the skill to survive

It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight
Risin’ up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he’s watchin’ us all with the eye of the tiger

Risin’ up, straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I’m not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

So what’s your theme song?

By Penny Greening