We either dictate to small children the behaviour we will accept of them, or provide them with a few better choices than the poor one they’re currently making, to turn things around.

Generally speaking, children are provided with options, one hopes, that are graciously overseen by the governing bodies of parents, family, daycare and schools.

My favourite parenting tactic (provided by Lexi’s first grade teacher) is the Traffic Light scenario:

Red light: in anger or fear, STOP, right now.

Yellow light: SLOW DOWN and think about what’s causing the discomfort and how you choose your words and actions to make the situation better.

Green light: restart from a place of kindness.

This works for adults as well, in every scenario imaginable, at every level.

In terms of making choices for our health, and understanding the impact of how we choose to treat our bodies, you know the drill. Drugs and alcohol fit somewhere on sliders between illegal and legal, in-excess and in-moderation. 

Food choices on the excess/moderation slider are (hopefully) obvious to the moderately-educated. We know our basic unsaturated fats (avocados, almonds, extra virgin olive oil) from our saturated fats (animal fats, palm oil, etc.). We know that honey is still considered a sweetener but it’s a much better choice than refined table sugar.

Certainly there are influencers in our lives: spousal, familial, cultural, societal… But ultimately as an individual you have a choice to make every time you prepare a meal, prepare your words, or prepare your mind.

Every time you open your mouth to eat, or speak, or open your smartphone to read, observe or comment, choice is all that counts in the end. You become a collection of your choices. 

I write about the psychological impacts of body image, not simply because of my own experiences but because I see it all around me. It’s an overwhelmingly “human” experience. Never more prevalent than today on social media, namely Instagram and TikTok (thanks teenaged daughter).

Whether or not you create a social media account and use it to its fullest potential, or use it simply to observe others, the same hormones that drive repeat use of drugs, alcohol, and sugar are behaviourally replicated and encoded on digital platforms to keep you coming back for more. You know this. You’re educated. You’ve watched The Social Dilemma (2020) or That Sugar Film (2014).

Documentaries like this explain the very real psychological and addictive power behind either the search algorithms that pull us back in for another hit of (probably forgettable) information, or the biological code in sucrose that makes it difficult to say no to another bite.

With all these manmade forces at our fingertip’s beck and call, let’s not forget the superhuman powers we have within ourselves to drive choice.

We have the power to go back to grade-schooler basics and use that traffic light exercise quite effectively.

Red light: Stop what you’re doing, now.

Yellow light: Think about what’s causing this need. Is it real hunger, or boredom? (Bored? Drink a glass of water.)
Is scrolling this feed benefiting your growth? (What else can you do with these spare minutes? Is there a list you need to make?)

Green light: Redirect an unhealthy desire to “quickly fill the emptiness” with a healthier option.

Every single time, you have the power to choose.

Easier said than done. Addiction is part of the human experience (everyone knows someone), and it’s not always as evident as “My father was an alcoholic”. Mine wasn’t, but he was a workaholic addicted to external praise from his superiors and the accolades that came with it.

His addiction to praise is why his autobiographical obituary was longer than the average, containing what appeared to be a 50-year’s resume with one short line about “family” at the very end. He was also addicted to nicotine for 50 years, and addicted to filling his mouth (think Big-Mac-on-the-way-home-for-dinner addicted).

Psychologically Dad suffered from something, probably incomprehensible, that no one ever knew but him. He used addictions to cope and succeed (he did become the mayor of a small town), and died after a long battle with a post-retirement brain tumour.

Addiction is genetic, cyclical and stems from far more complex scenarios than we can imagine. It’s what good fictional storytelling is based on.

I openly share my own experiences because I’ve seen the door of death alone, and when looking back towards the entrance I recognize that I grew up in a world of secrets that held good people back from being better people. Good people like you and I deserve “shared experiences” so we can better relate to one another’s pain, then move past all of that and get to the good stuff: a clean slate of healthy living and creative problem-solving!

True, we are beings made up of our own thoughts and choices. Yet, although we exist individually no one is an island. Our individual choices impact others.

So whatever that big decision is that you’ve been mulling over lately, remember the small ones count too. Not just for you, but for those around you.

Quoting a scene from Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, “You must choose, but choose wisely.”

By Penny Greening