(And my Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon)

Who cares what they’re wearing on Main Street or Saville Row?
It’s what you wear from ear to ear, and not from head to toe, that matters.

Since I first watched it on the big screen in ’82, this original score from little orphan Annie, has remained steadfast etched in memory.

If I have learned nothing else worth knowing in the forty years since Annie was released, it’s this golden truth: smiling is the universal password for real social networking.

You’re never fully dressed, without a smile

Smiling has been studied as the gateway to longevity, stress-relief, and mood boosting. But here’s the tickle – smiling begets more smiling – and smiling coaxes out kindness. 

It’s the essence of treating others, whether you know them or not, with the same respect you hope to receive in return.

For a few years pre-pandemic I was beginning to think smiling would be replaced by a thumb-breaking scroll habit and double-tapped emotionless hearts.

A dark shadow fell over my fellow first-world humans. At breakneck speed with backs hunched down everywhere, we looked like zombies walking through malls, parks, even pushing strollers. My heart fragmented bit by bit. Forgetting to lift our heads to the sky, or meet another eye-to-eye, we’d become trained like robots to manage massive digital networks.

I worried that as automatons, soon no one would remember the natural rush you get from being the source of the first smile paid forward.

It’s what you wear from ear to ear

While smiling has sometimes gotten me into trouble (I don’t care if I recognize half the faces I beam at), it’s been my go-to ticket to IRL human connectedness all these years.

And smiling isn’t just a gift, it pays dividends. When I see a neighbour on the street or a stranger while passing through the same doorway, a smile given – is more often than not – received with yet another smile.

Smiling is a device for joy-creation all on its own. When I’m down, a forced head held high and plastered-on grin has jolted my joy into generating faster.

“Whether your smile is genuine or not, it can act on your body and mind in a variety of positive ways, offering benefits for your health, your mood, and even the moods of people around you.” – Verywell Mind 

Little things can make a big difference

A global pandemic of indifference is on the rise. In public places where people have been known to practice humility and kindness in decades past, smiles are down and frowns are up.

Why is this? Too many faces to care about? Too busy to recognize we’re all part of one larger community? Too insecure in our present fragile state to believe our one smile will make any difference whatsoever? I don’t have the answer.

But I do know this. With the onset of so-called social media, we have attempted to stay in contact with far too many people.

In Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point he refers to Dunbar’s Number: 148. It’s often rounded up to 150 and attributed to British evolutionary anthropologist Robin Dunbar.

In Dunbar’s research, he mentioned that the 150 people are made up of:

• 5 intimate friends
• 15 good friends (including the 5 intimate friends)
• 50 friends (including the 5 intimate friends and 15 good friends)
• 150 acquaintances (all-encompassing)

Dunbar stated that 150 people is the ‘point beyond which members of any social group lose their ability to function effectively in social relationships.’ 

I’m not going to sugar-coat it. I think we’re tapped out on digital social networks. We’ve set for ourselves too high a bar to maintain legitimate or meaningful human connectedness.

I propose we get back to the real deal: seek social conscience in smaller numbers and actively participate in the physical spaces we regularly inhabit.

And step up those values learned from Dear Ol’ Mom

I was recently introduced to the Smartless podcast and was compelled to listen to the Kevin Bacon interview first. Why? Well, Kev and I have five degrees of separation.

In this interview, reflecting on his career Mr. Bacon shares that hard work and kindness were a staple of his upbringing.

He adds, that although smiling in public is undesirable if he’s to avoid being swarmed by fandom while attempting to move about town freely, he’s never short on real smiles once folks strike up a conversation with him.

It’s not about public perception as much as his natural ability to stay connected to those in his presence. It’s called warmth. (It sounds to me like even seasoned celebrities can see the value in maintaining their smile for the benefit of others.) And he credits his upbringing to dear ol’ Mom. “When it comes to being kind to people, my mother was very influential.”

See where that smile takes you

So if you find yourself prone to hide under the covers after doom-scrolling the news these days, here’s my advice: Start with a smile, and see where the day takes you.

It’s really easy. Just smile at the next person you see. You never know the impact it may have on all things universally connected, including you.   

A Footloose footnote: My Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

Shannon is one of my dearest lifelong friends. We met in my first year at Concordia University.

While at Concordia, Shannon met and fell in love with George Abady. After graduation, they planned their future together. In 1998, George would book a flight to Geneva to attend hotel management classes. His flight, Swiss Air 111, never made it. He was 24 years old.

George’s sister Arletty mourned the loss of her brother with Shannon. The two were joined by Arletty’s best friend from ballet school in Toronto, Neve Campbell.

Neve was in Wild Things with Kevin Bacon.

Today, Shannon actively studies and practices Buddhism from a monastery in northern California, and when I share this with her I have no doubt, she will smile.

By Penny Greening